And you begin to learn
that kisses aren’t contracts and
presents aren’t promises
and you begin to accept your defeats
with your head up and your eyes ahead
with the grace of a woman
not the grief of a child
and you learn
to build all your roads on today
because tomorrow’s ground is
too uncertain for plans
and futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight.

After a while you learn
that even sunshine burns
if you get too much
so you plant your own garden
and decorate your own soul
instead of waiting
for someone to bring you flowers.

And you learn
that you really can endure
that you really are strong
and you really do have worth
and you learn
and you learn
with every goodbye.
you learn…

I’ve loved this poem for a long time. I’m sharing it here because I hope it speaks to you, too.

(…but also to not lose track of it.)

(Have you visited my site lately? I've redecorated - come see!)

“After Awhile” by Veronica Shofstall

Except, I do get weary.
I do get my feelings hurt.
Because I am not as good at this “being a grownup” thing as I’d like to be.
Because taking the high road is hard.
(That’s why so few do it.)

Expectations are premeditated resentments, yes
but just how exactly do you live without expectations?
I’m still learning.

Shopping for bread in a hardware store is
a nice way of saying you’re looking for something
that person just doesn’t have to give.

There are several hardware stores I haven’t seen in ages
and I often do without bread, but my Weeble-like optimism
says I’ll find a bakery before I die.

I hope so.

Meanwhile, how disappointed I am is up to me.

(Have you visited my site lately? I've redecorated - come see!)

Doing Without Bread

When you can’t be the real you without rocking the boat – ever – you begin to realize that you might simply just be in the wrong boat.

Took me 43 years to learn that…44 to get out of the boat.

(Have you visited my site lately? I've redecorated - come see!)

The Wrong Boat

• The people who are starting college this fall were born in 1992.
• They are too young to remember the space shuttle blowing up.
• Their lifetime has always included AIDS.
• The CD was introduced two years before they were born.
• They have always had an answering machine.
• They have always had cable.
• Jay Leno has always been on the Tonight Show.
• Popcorn has always been microwaved.
• They never took a swim and thought about Jaws.
• They don’t know who Mork was or where he was from.
• They never heard: ‘Where’s the Beef?’, ‘I’d walk a mile for a Camel ‘ or ‘de plane, Boss, de plane’.
• McDonald’s never came in Styrofoam containers.
• They don’t have a clue how to use a typewriter.

Yeah, some of those were a slap in the face to me, too.

(Have you visited my site lately? I've redecorated - come see!)

Just in case you weren’t feeling old today …

We live in the same city, but I haven’t laid eyes on her since my backyard project in May.

Ridiculous.

This picture was part of my Christmas present from her this year. You see, she knows me…well. She bought a beautiful silver and glass picture frame and then had one of my kids take this picture of us to put in it. She knows it will have a special place here on my desk, where right now, the bulk of my time is spent. She knows that a simple picture – a record of time spent – will give me patience until the paths of our lives start to share scenery again.

Everybody should be blessed with someone in their life who pays attention like that.

(Have you visited my site lately? I've redecorated - come see!)

Long Overdue

Letting go of expectations – of myself and others. If your life has been feeling heavy lately, this will instantly lighten things up. Trust me – I know this from experience.

Letting go of “someday”. One of the most visible ways I’ve done this is clearing my closet of all the clothes I might wear “someday”. While I’m waiting for “someday” to show up, some other woman somewhere is freezing her ass off, feeling bad about how she looks, or just wants something new but can’t afford to go shopping.

Some of these clothes don’t fit me at the moment, but most of them just don’t fit my life anymore. At one time, they were each “favorites” – clothes that made me feel good wearing them. But my need for them now is minimal compared to the good they can bring someone else. So I packed them up this morning and will be sending them on.

Letting go of “should”-ing myself. When I think or speak of things I “should” do, I create a stress gap between them and me. After all, there’s some reason I’m not doing them. Those reasons might be valid or completely irrational, but I know this for sure: I have enough stress in my life without adding more unnecessarily.

(Have you visited my site lately? I've redecorated - come see!)

Gratitude in the Form of Letting Go

It occurred to me that my handwriting these days generally sucks. No surprise, I suppose, because I so rarely hand write anything any more. So, I picked up a pen and started writing the alphabet on my notepad. Each time through, I stumbled at ‘r’. I wrote ‘u’, instead. So, I guess 40 years of Qs – which are almost always following by Us – and now I’m incapable of writing my alphabet properly unless I slow down to a crawl. Weird.

So, too, I have these quirks on the keyboard. When I go to send an email to my business coach, whose name is Tom and whose email address is tom@something.com (*note: I did this just now trying to type his email address here), I almost always type tome@…before I recognize my mistake. The e just comes flying out my fingers – automatically following the m. Weird.

Another one of these, for me, is not being able to type the word female properly without typo correction. (* and yes, I did this just now, too) I always type femail. Yeah…me…Miss Spelling Snob. I suppose I know where that one comes from, but still… Weird.

What about you? What weird things do your fingers do?

(Have you visited my site lately? I've redecorated - come see!)

My Fingers Do Weird Things

I’ve spent the better part of the last 45 years avoiding sleep. Ask my mother…I hardly ever slept as a child. I’m pretty sure I took naps as an infant, but she’s right about the rest of the years since. I remember when I was three and being sent to my room for a nap. Ha! She could send me to my room, but she couldn’t make me sleep!

Over the years, I’ve been heard saying things like, “I can’t sleep during the day,” and “Nap? Yeah, right,” and “I’ll have plenty of time to sleep when I’m dead.”

Well, guess what I did today?

Yup – took a nap.

Aside from the fact that I’ve been sick all week, maybe – just maybe – I’m coming to grips with the idea that I’m likely not going to miss anything if I take better care of myself and rest when I feel the need.

(Have you visited my site lately? I've redecorated - come see!)

Return of the Nap

Was it worth the phone call before I’d been properly caffeinated?

Oh yeah…

You know…she’s got a point. And the dang Vatican isn’t the only example, for sure. So, by posting this, I’m not picking on my Catholic friends…promise.

(Have you visited my site lately? I've redecorated - come see!)

Sell the Vatican, Feed the World

IMHO, the parts they changed about the first book, Twilight were good changes to help mash the story to fit the time. But having read the book now, and watched the movie again this past weekend with my step-daughter (who hadn’t seen it yet – so HA! I wasn’t the only one!), I have to say what I usually do about great stories turned into movies: Yeah, watch the movie. Enjoy it. But if you want to REALLY enjoy it, read the book.

But then, you know that…

(Have you visited my site lately? I've redecorated - come see!)

Definitely Better Late Than Never