Ask yourself, “If the situation were reversed, what would I want most from me right now?” Then do that.

Because you care.
Because you, too, make mistakes.
Because you don’t require perfection from others.
Because part of being a friend is loving them when they can’t love themselves.

Keepin' it real in the bloggerhood,

On this first Sunday of the new year, I ask you to take 16 minutes of your day to watch this TED talk by Dr. Brené Brown on The Price of Invulnerability:

I know, from personal experience, that we really can’t numb out just the bad stuff without also numbing the good stuff we want.

My friends help me preserve my ability to be vulnerable by reassuring me that I am safe with them. I am able to practice vulnerability with them, and each time I do, I get stronger and am more willing to risk vulnerability outside of the safety net they provide.

Priceless.

Keepin' it real in the bloggerhood,

If ever there was a topic I could blog about everyday for a month solid, this is it.

Throughout my life, it has been my friends who’ve sustained me. These people loved me when I didn’t love myself, challenged me and kept me sane. They are the touchstones of my life, witnesses to my growth and champions of who I am becoming.

“Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art…. It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things that give value to survival.” ~C.S. Lewis

Keepin' it real in the bloggerhood,

Since he and I rarely get any time to do anything just the two of us these days, I invited him out on a lunch date at our favorite Chinese buffet. When we got back Fresh Air and PDD came in (PDD had spent the night over at Fresh Air’s house last night) so I seized the opportunity to have Fresh Air take a picture of me and Oldest Son (also a rarity!) He never smiles openly in pictures these days because he’s got major issues with his teeth, but at least he doesn’t look like he’s pissed at the world. And I’m not going to be a choosy beggar – he agreed readily to the picture and that’s blessing enough for me!

Keepin' it real in the bloggerhood,

So, we’re gonna shut that little heffer up. How? Ha! By participating in July without SAYING I’m going to post every day about food for 31 days straight. Try a little reverse psychology on her butt…huh? Yeah, that’s the plan.

~

In other news, I HAVE MISSED YOU ALL!!! But I have good reason to be away so long: I’ve been BUSY with a capital B!

Last post, I told you all I’d been asked to write for another site. Well, not only did I accept, but I also mentioned that I had a few tips for her regarding her site (just a few tweaks here and there) and she ended up hiring me to take over the programming on her site, too! So BOTH Suzannes get to work with Yasmin at APOOO (A Place Of Our Own) Bookclub!! She asked me (the coach) to write the Motivational Monday column each week, and my first piece is up today: Every Ending Is Also a Beginning. Come by and have a look if you have the time. I’ll be there every Monday, and if you like to read and want an insider tip… Subscribe to the APOOO feed! All kinds of goodies are going to be coming to her feed subscribers, so don’t miss out! Shhhh…you didn’t hear that from me. LOL

~

Here at home, this is what we USED to have to help us deal with the crazy Oklahoma heat. (Let’s not discuss how this picture got taken by Oldest Son standing atop the 1-1/2 story insulated steel building in the backyard…no…we’ll overlook that, because it’s really such a great shot.) This is the reason I bought this house, as opposed to the myriad others I looked at. This pool saved lives and kept me out of jail, trust me.

But then comes a house fire, a year of abject poverty recovering from that and then the ice storm of December 2007, and this is what we have staring back at us when we go out the back door. In addition, you can’t see that a limb came out of the tree and broke the pump in half – literally, and the state of the filter is yet undetermined. All told, probably a $grand$ to get it back looking like the picture above.

So…..

This is our temporary, one-summer solution. LOL Yes, we’ve gone from an 18-ft by 27ft, 4ft deep oval to an 8ft by 30 inch deep circle. Quite the come-uppance for this household, I assure you. But like I told PDD, which would you rather? I spend $50 and provide you a way to get wet or save my $50 toward fixing the big pool while you sweat all through August? Suddenly, our wannabe pool will do. (Funny how that works, huh?)

~

As we wrap up the very eventful month of June here at the Suzanne Says… household, I want to tell you I am working to get my act together and not leave you hanging weeks at a time from now on. I’m sure you bloggers out there identify with this – sometimes life moves at such a pace that just keeping up with it is a trick, much less documenting it on your blog! But what I miss when I call myself too busy to come talk to you all here is a lot: my sanity, in part; talking things out with you all here helps me sort out what’s true for me, and knowing that is essential to leading a happy life, and I like my happy life and want to keep it that way!

So I may disappear for a few days, but I’m just like a boomerang – I’ll always be back!

Keepin' it real in the bloggerhood,

Nitey nite – more details soon – I promise!

Keepin' it real in the bloggerhood,

PDD has been friends with this particular girl for awhile now. She’s only 6 months younger than Second Son, but she is the youngest of her family (like PDD) and when she’s with PDD, she’s finally older than somebody in her world. LOL She’s had a crush on Second Son for as long as I’ve known her (they moved into the neighborhood about 2 1/2 years ago – a few months before our fire) and I’m sure that hangin’ with PDD also gave her a better ‘view’. To her credit, she really does spend time with and pay attention to PDD, so it’s not a case of ‘putting up with’ PDD to be around Second Son.

When Second Son spent the week at University of Tulsa (6/9-6/13), she pretty much spent the week over here with PDD. We did ‘girl stuff’ that week and celebrated the absence of testosterone in the house. We watched chick flicks and one evening, she flat-ironed PDD’s hair (PDD just LOVES straight hair, of course, since hers is so dang curly) and we put a perm in my hair.

Given the situation Second Son may have gotten himself into with another girl (when I can write coherently about it, I’ll fill you all in), this girl is impressing me with a maturity not often seen in girls her age – hell, girls ANY age! She’s got a strong sense of self and I really like that. In fact, that’s one of the reasons I’m happy she and PDD are such good friends – PDD could use a good example of that in her life, particularly in one of her peers.

Another great asset this girl has, as far as I’m concerned, is she still is very much a kid. She loves to goof around and take pictures with PDD making crazy faces and is not at all embarrassed by her hair being messed up. See? Strong sense of self. Love it! She’s a much needed breath of fresh air around here, so that’s what I’ll call her around here: Fresh Air.

Keepin' it real in the bloggerhood,

Try not to be jealous, folks!

Keepin' it real in the bloggerhood,

PDD attended Vacation Bible School with Baby Sis and Baby Nephew this week. There were 948 kids, 37 leaders, 267 volunteers (of which Baby Sis was one), and 177 teen helpers in attendance this year.

Uhhh…yeah… A big ol’ honkin’ VBS! Certainly the biggest I’ve ever witnessed!

PDD was a bit leery upon arriving the first morning. She’s not one to feel at home in a crowd of new faces, but fortunately, her teacher took a shine to her and made her aware right away that they shared the same last name, so it must be that they were ‘meant to be together at VBS’. As you can see, she was feeling quite at home with her new friends by the wrap-up program this evening.

Keepin' it real in the bloggerhood,

These two women have known me for years and have loved me through all kinds of self-created hell. They cheer me on and encourage me. They accept me not only for who I am, but who I am becoming, and I love them right back!

Keepin' it real in the bloggerhood,